Communication,
trust, honesty, respect, love are all parts of a relationship. When one
crumbles theyall crumble and they are even harder to regain. I have always been
told that communication is the biggest one. We learn from our peers, our
childhood and society on how this works. When we learn from those who have not
learned these themselves then we tend to make the same mistakes but in today’s
technological advanced world it’s hard to hide the deceit from one another.
Recent events have shown me that I blamed the one I am supposed to love for all the misfortune, emotional turmoil and for the abandonment I felt when in reality it was caused by me and lack of communication. I expressed all my fears, anxiety and self worthby being an asshole to the one who matters the most and who has endured so much and yet asked for so little. I am amazed by the love and support she has shown regardless of the neglect I have shown towards her.
When the hidings came to light I was at first a little scared of what was going to happen and then realized that it doesn’t matter since this day was inevitable. I just calmly took control of myself and rationally sat down with her when I got home and told her everything. There are no more lies no more secrets, no more hiding and all the anxiety that went along. This was going to go one of 2 ways and to my surprised it went the way I was not expecting.
Over the next few days we would talk and spend some alone time without disturbances from children, TV, phones or any other everyday distractions that we deal with and we would try and find each other once again.
Today we are exploring together, renewing ourselves with one another and learning once again that as a couple there are no secrets.
When troubles in marriages are recognized and both parties are willing to work through things to make it work is always the way but just when you think you are on the right track you divulgethe rest of everything to your partner. You give them access to everything that they knew you had but could not access then you hit a bump once again. What was done is done and cannot be changed. Emails, IMs and anything else is open to interpretation by either side and unless the whole story is laid out then those conclusions become false and can lead to damage what progress is already made.
I have done things and said things that were both inappropriate and a poor choice of words on some occasions but I can’t change those facts.
I have met a lot of wonderful people here on Fetlifeand will continue to do so with her knowledge. What originally started out as looking for an encounter with someone other than my spouse has turned to more of a quest for knowledge and to learn about subjects that I was once closed minded to.I will continue to do so as well. Where it may take me is yet to be determined but I am sharing this info and my thoughts etcwith my spouse whom is by far a wonderful woman who I have not shown much towards because of my own selfishness and issues but I am now working to correct that now.
Some of us lead double lives, triple lives and sometimes even more but in my case it was only double. My online world and my real world are different because of me and I make no excuse for that. I will correct that as well.
Recent events have shown me that I blamed the one I am supposed to love for all the misfortune, emotional turmoil and for the abandonment I felt when in reality it was caused by me and lack of communication. I expressed all my fears, anxiety and self worthby being an asshole to the one who matters the most and who has endured so much and yet asked for so little. I am amazed by the love and support she has shown regardless of the neglect I have shown towards her.
When the hidings came to light I was at first a little scared of what was going to happen and then realized that it doesn’t matter since this day was inevitable. I just calmly took control of myself and rationally sat down with her when I got home and told her everything. There are no more lies no more secrets, no more hiding and all the anxiety that went along. This was going to go one of 2 ways and to my surprised it went the way I was not expecting.
Over the next few days we would talk and spend some alone time without disturbances from children, TV, phones or any other everyday distractions that we deal with and we would try and find each other once again.
Today we are exploring together, renewing ourselves with one another and learning once again that as a couple there are no secrets.
When troubles in marriages are recognized and both parties are willing to work through things to make it work is always the way but just when you think you are on the right track you divulgethe rest of everything to your partner. You give them access to everything that they knew you had but could not access then you hit a bump once again. What was done is done and cannot be changed. Emails, IMs and anything else is open to interpretation by either side and unless the whole story is laid out then those conclusions become false and can lead to damage what progress is already made.
I have done things and said things that were both inappropriate and a poor choice of words on some occasions but I can’t change those facts.
I have met a lot of wonderful people here on Fetlifeand will continue to do so with her knowledge. What originally started out as looking for an encounter with someone other than my spouse has turned to more of a quest for knowledge and to learn about subjects that I was once closed minded to.I will continue to do so as well. Where it may take me is yet to be determined but I am sharing this info and my thoughts etcwith my spouse whom is by far a wonderful woman who I have not shown much towards because of my own selfishness and issues but I am now working to correct that now.
Some of us lead double lives, triple lives and sometimes even more but in my case it was only double. My online world and my real world are different because of me and I make no excuse for that. I will correct that as well.
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