Thank you to all the Woman!

As I wander through the pages of life and see the lack of courtesy and respect towards so many women I felt like I wanted to say Thank You to them.

THANK YOU

For being understanding,

For being patient,

For putting up with our stupidity,

For sifting through countless emails of perversion to find 1 decent person,

For teaching us,

For caring for us,

For providing us with laughter,

Foreshowing us that not everyone is perfect,

For showing us that sex is a privilege not a right.

For showing us that you are just as strong as we are,

For being beautiful in your own way,

For not giving up on finding a suitable mate,

For becoming a friend

For being a Mother

For being nurturing

For taking a risk on us

For being both a fantasy and a reality,

For being gentle,

For never holding back

For being you,

For the encouragement

For the words less spoken

For the sadness

For the body of a goddess in which we see,

For being the desire

For being the dreaded evil,

For being sympathetic

For your hatred

For your love,

I am sure there is a lot more and will add to it as time goes on but I think this is a good start.

Stressed

Good Things To Say When You're Stressed

1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!!!"
2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!"
3. "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"
4. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up"
5. "Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"
6. "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."
7. "Do I look like a fucking people person!"
8. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting"
9. "I started out with nothing still have most of it left" !
10. "I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me"
11. "YOU!!... off my planet!!!"
12. "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You
          choose"
13. "Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of
         self-control".
14. "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed"
15. "And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be.....?"
16. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30
     years."
17. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."
18. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed"
19. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"
20. "I'm not your type.! I'm not inflatable"
21. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you
       haven't gone to sleep yet"
22. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."
23. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."
24. "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"
25. "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."
26. "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it."
27. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."
28. "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"
29. "Chaos, panic and disorder . . . my work here is done."
30. "Ambivalent? Well yes and no."
31. "You look like shit. Is that the style now?"
32. "Earth is full. Go home."
33. "Awww, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"
34. "I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."
35. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."
36. "You are depriving some village of an idiot."
37. "If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport!"

Life

Life is a playground. You don't know who you will meet, rules change frequently and not everyone plays nice. If you don't fit or can't play nice then move to someone/somewhere else.
Feelings may get hurt, body parts may become damaged but in time all will heal.Toescape the pain,thehurt and the game you may want to leave but it will be for all the wrong reasons.
You never stop playing and there is only one true way to leave, but be sure that is what you really want to do because you can never return.
I myself have played for awhileand now find myself at the door trying to decide to leave or stay and as the days go on the decision isn't any easier

Fear

We never seem to realize how powerful this one emotoncan be. Fear is part of our daily lives. Some hide it, some do show it, somepretend it doesn't exist but it does.
If you could sit down and make a list of your fears, and I mean be realistic and honest about them, you would be surprised to learn that some of the most simple and mundane things make us fear them. Some fears we can noteven see but they are there, there for our pleasure, for our skepticism, for our pain.
I have learned, especially on here, that no matter what your orientation, your sex, your lifestyle you are afraid of something. Dom/Dommesmay laugh at this and think I am full of shit but I am not. It is funny to think of someone in such a role would be afraid especially admitting they are afraid and the same goes for being a sub/slave or whatever thinking they are afraid of everything and yournot.
I came across an email from another site sent to me by a Dommewho sent her regrets for not accepting my invite to play and it is not the regret which I understood but the way it was written. It sounded like she was afraid to take a leap, a risk, a chance on a new subject for the mere fact that I was alotyounger than herself. I thought about how funny that sounded until it dawned on me that is was indeed a valid frear.
For some fear is a safety net, a blankiein wish to cuddle with, a place werefear doesn't exist and for others including myself it can be that and a destructive areatoplay with as well because fear leads us to be more cautious and can take over your life.
I met two exceptional women on here who had some fears and now have since dealt with them and it made them stronger and more beautiful for doing so and I have decided that I will learn to do what they have done to hopefully make me a better person.

Walls

Like most, I am a misfit. Constantly meeting outcasts, doing things that I shouldn't and not getting along. They say to play nice even when getting crapped on, screw that!
We make walls not to keep out people but to protect us from feelings of all sorts and when something good disappears another layer is added on and held together with a special block that is made up of that incident and those feelings so we don't forget why that layer is there in the first place. These walls can be torn down but only if the one block is dissolved first. We connect, link, integrate everything together in one form or another.
The wall is ours, made by one but forged from many. We all have a wall whether or not we admit it. We may forget about it until something triggers it, then we remember itsthere. No matter what others say or do ultimately these walls can only be destroyed by ourselves.

Ramblings

Communication, trust, honesty, respect, love are all parts of a relationship. When one crumbles theyall crumble and they are even harder to regain. I have always been told that communication is the biggest one. We learn from our peers, our childhood and society on how this works. When we learn from those who have not learned these themselves then we tend to make the same mistakes but in today’s technological advanced world it’s hard to hide the deceit from one another.
Recent events have shown me that I blamed the one I am supposed to love for all the misfortune, emotional turmoil and for the abandonment I felt when in reality it was caused by me and lack of communication. I expressed all my fears, anxiety and self worthby being an asshole to the one who matters the most and who has endured so much and yet asked for so little. I am amazed by the love and support she has shown regardless of the neglect I have shown towards her.
When the hidings came to light I was at first a little scared of what was going to happen and then realized that it doesn’t matter since this day was inevitable. I just calmly took control of myself and rationally sat down with her when I got home and told her everything. There are no more lies no more secrets, no more hiding and all the anxiety that went along. This was going to go one of 2 ways and to my surprised it went the way I was not expecting.
Over the next few days we would talk and spend some alone time without disturbances from children, TV, phones or any other everyday distractions that we deal with and we would try and find each other once again.
Today we are exploring together, renewing ourselves with one another and learning once again that as a couple there are no secrets.
When troubles in marriages are recognized and both parties are willing to work through things to make it work is always the way but just when you think you are on the right track you divulgethe rest of everything to your partner. You give them access to everything that they knew you had but could not access then you hit a bump once again. What was done is done and cannot be changed. Emails, IMs and anything else is open to interpretation by either side and unless the whole story is laid out then those conclusions become false and can lead to damage what progress is already made.
I have done things and said things that were both inappropriate and a poor choice of words on some occasions but I can’t change those facts.
I have met a lot of wonderful people here on Fetlifeand will continue to do so with her knowledge. What originally started out as looking for an encounter with someone other than my spouse has turned to more of a quest for knowledge and to learn about subjects that I was once closed minded to.I will continue to do so as well. Where it may take me is yet to be determined but I am sharing this info and my thoughts etcwith my spouse whom is by far a wonderful woman who I have not shown much towards because of my own selfishness and issues but I am now working to correct that now.
Some of us lead double lives, triple lives and sometimes even more but in my case it was only double. My online world and my real world are different because of me and I make no excuse for that. I will correct that as well.

The Bear

How I see myself.
On the one hand, we get a picture of tranquility with the bear, and on the other, it’s a symbol for warrior and power.
Symbolic Bear Meaning - A Quick Keyword List:
• Bravery
• Peace
• Resurrection
• Powerful
• Benevolence
• Sovereignty
• Motherhood
• Duality
We can justify that juxtaposition when observing the bear in nature. Although omnivore, the bear prefers a banal diet filled with sweet snacks like berries. Further, the bear seems heartily content to languish in sunny spots where it can stretch and snooze in leisure. We observe an amicable, mellow, easy-going energy with the bear when all conditions are favorable.
As a Totem Animal, the bear will carry messages of:
• Patience and Connection
Hibernating with our ideas or projects until a better time presents itself. Further, bear will speak to you about connecting to both earth-based energy and celestial (sun/moon) forces. Tapping into the bear will also allow you to tap into the wax, wane and flow of life.
• Confidence and Authority
By its physical presence, the bear reminds us we can be larger than life if we raise ourselves up to our inherent status. Moreover, no one questions the bear. This kind of authoritative presence will be a lesson the bear can impart.
• Nurturing and Protection
Weintuit these attributes by the commitment bear mothers make to their offspring. Whether your offspring is in children or ideals, the bear will lend you the determination required for rearing up strong results.
The bear is a consummate mother, caring for her young with observable devotion. Indeed, the bear is a symbol of motherhood and child protection, as I discuss on my page about Native American bear meaning here.

However, there is aunfathomable power surging just beneath the surface of the bear is potentially explosive. Bear has imminent domain, and when it deems that space altered, it is fully prepared to defend. Woe beto the one who provokes the wrath of the bear. In this powerfully impressive display of defense and aggression we pick up bear meanings of sovereignty, courage and themes of the warrior.
To wit, in Scandinavian legend the bear was an aspect of the god Odin, and Berserkers were known to wear bearskins to enhance their ferocity in battle. Such vicious looking warriors were insured a victory.
We see more bear-dressing in the cult following of Artemis. She is a Greek huntress, and her maiden devotees would don bear dressings as a symbol of hunting prowess and power.
The First Peoples of North America were known to do this too as I cite on my page about symbolic bear meanings to the Native American mind.
Bear meanings continue to be symbolic of bravery as Germanic and Celtic deities Artioand Thor are often depicted with the bear. Indeed, the bear is a tremendous symbol of the warrior and bravery to the ancient Celts.
Although Celtic lore indicates the bear is grounded in a heroic aspect, we also see it connected to the Celtic goddess Berne where we pick up lunar symbolism.
Bear meanings associated with the moon continue in Pueblo lore in which the bear is connected to underground temples. Here the bear is said to oversee the movements of the night, and lives in time with the Native Indian cycles of the moon.
In fact, many ancient peoples understood the connection of the moon and the bear because of the bear’s hibernation patterns. But more importantly, our nature-savvy ancestors recognized the dual nature of the bear.
To explain, the nature-based mindset followed the “sleeping” (hibernating) and “waking” nature of the bear and assigned specific meaning to each of these phases of the bear’s life. To demonstrate:
In hibernation, the bear is associated with:
• Yin
• Moon
• Winter
• Inaction
• Feminine
• Darkness
• Introspection
• Subconscious
The awakened bear meaning deals with:
• Yang
• Solar
• Action
• Masculine
• Spring/Summer
• Lightness
• Extroversion
• Consciousness
In this respect we clearly see the bear wearing two faces of symbolism.
From this illustration we also recognize a theme of resurrection. After a long period of deep, introspective (even death-like) comatose span of inaction – the bear emerges, victorious and driven to sustain its life (with prime focus on feeding itself and its offspring after hibernating).
This correspondence with solar and lunar duplicity continues in alchemical tradition where the bear is considered a symbol of transformation. The bear is a powerful symbol of prime matter in alchemy too. Ancient alchemists observed the scent of a bear far outlasts its presence in caves. This caters to an energetic resonance that remains in practices. In other words, if in ritual a powerful balancing effect was required the bear would be aadvantageous alchemical animal within the Work.
The bear is showcased in countless cultures because it is undeniably dynamic in energy and stature. These are just a few of the myriad of symbolic observations and bear meanings we can mine from this amazingly diverse animal.